A Little Understanding

Judge not what you have no desire to understand


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Forum Home > General Discussion > Learning to Nurture a Non-Verbal Little

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Sorry to start a whole new thread for this, but it seemed the least worst way to address it, rather than asking five or six related questions across the existing threads.

First, a very brief introduction: I have been with my wife for the better part of ten years, and there have been elements of D/s to our relationship almost from the start, though we met via entirely vanilla channels. Over the years, we’ve incorporated bondage, especially rope, light to moderate impact play, some erotic humiliation, and service. High protocol has never felt right for us, so we’ve mostly reserved the protocol to ‘scening time’.


Still, we never thought of D/s or BDSM as play. While we’ve are monogamous, and not active in any communities, we do consider the things that we do to be part of our lifestyle. Nearly from the start, we’ve established a 24/7 consensual non-consent arrangement and we observe what you might call traditional roles.

Several months ago, I happened to hear a podcast on the subject of age play:


…in which, Tina Horn and Siouxsie Q discussed DD/lg, and the ways in which age play and DD/lg can be distinct. I’d heard of DD/lg before that, but I’d always thought of it strictly as age play and incestuous. To be honest, I found the whole idea rather squicky until I heard the Tina Horn and Siouxsie Q discussion.


I recognized the dynamic right away as something that had been a part of our life all along, and when I played the podcast for my wife, it was like throwing a switch. Everything has just clicked ever since. We were both pleased to finally be able to put a name to it and to know that we were not alone.


Also, it has greatly improved some aspects of our communication. It used to be a bit confusing for me when she would switch back and forth between big and little. Now it’s clear what spaces she’s in and what level of communication that she’s expecting from me.


That said, she’s not one to read books or websites, especially not about something like DD/lg. In fact, for her, discussion that is too direct can sort of kill the magic, or rob things of their power for her. This sometimes leaves me to guess about ways to support and nurture her. Basically, I have to guess at something that might work for her and introduce it slowly and in small ways to gauge her response.


Consequently, I’m looking for ideas and suggestions from more experienced daddies/mommies and littles. I’m also very interested in hearing from littles how they experience their little lives and what it means for them.


November 18, 2014 at 8:27 PM Flag Quote & Reply

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